


Missing

by RayRayyy



Category: Cowboy Bebop (Anime)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayRayyy/pseuds/RayRayyy
Summary: Faye comes to terms with the fact that Spike isn't coming back
Relationships: Spike Spiegel/Faye Valentine
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Missing

The automatic doors slid open. Faye's head jerked up from the empty patch on the table, her hopes as high as they were the day Spike had left. Still, as it had been for the last two weeks, it was only Jet entering the Bebop.

"Faye.." Jet started, but her attention was already drawn back to the patch on the table. Jet sighed and headed to the back to start dinner.

Faye hadn't moved from that spot since he had left yesterday, and she was still as twitchy and nervous as she had been since the notion Spike wasn't coming back.

Jet had seen what was happening. From the day Faye conned them into letting her stay, the bickering between the two, the awkward silences, the rivalry, the constant questions: "Where's Spike?" "Why hasn't Spike come back yet?" Faye had let her emotions get the better of her, and Jet had watched it all. Knowing that no good would come of this unrequited .. _love_? Did Faye love Spike? Either way, Spike's mind was set in a dream world, a world that revolved around one woman: Julia.

And though he had never met this infamous woman, her presence could always be felt around Spike. A presence that Faye failed to avoid. Always toying with the idea of Spike changing his mind, his feelings, to her. Her endless insults; playground-style flirting. _Next she'd be pulling his hair_.

Jet laughed to himself, _Oh the joys of being young again_. He laughed again as he remembered how old Faye actually might be. _70? 75?_ He never had found out.

The sound of his laughter echoed, but it was short lived. He heard the sofa creak underneath Faye as she stretched her body out onto it, finally sleeping after nearly three days worth of sitting. Not eating, talking, even acknowledging his being there. Jet would sit on the stairs, watching Faye; making sure she was alright - still breathing, at least.

She hadn't had a cigarette for a week. After chain-smoking her way through the first week after Spike .. left, she just stopped being motivated to do anything, and this included smoking. Her face looked gaunt, and her skin was paler than usual. Jet positioned himself at the top of the metal staircase, his eyes watching over her protectively. Her breathing was slow and heavy, but her face still carried the pained expression.

Jet started on the lonely plate of noodles he'd prepared himself and sat in silence. After Edward had left, the whole place seemed quieter, though more chaotic. With Faye running backwards and forwards, and Spike .. and Spike dealing with things elsewhere, Jet had found himself hating being alone in the Bebop.

The corridors echoed, and the sound of the boiler system overpowered any friendly, welcomed noises. Jet stood up, the bullet wound in his leg still hindered his leverage, even though it was painless. He padded towards Faye's sleeping form and rested a threadbare blanket on her back. _At least he was trying_ , ran through his mind.

~

Faye's eyes stung. The area around her eyes, her head behind her eyes and her actual eyeballs - which she didn't think possible. No amount of pain killers could rid her of this aching she felt. Not just in her head, her whole body felt as though she had run a marathon. She was tired, but couldn't sleep. Fears of recurring nightmares that woke her, cold sweat dripping from her body, halted her sleep.

She found herself catching up on naps during the day, when Jet was in. Somehow, she didn't fear the nightmares when she knew Jet was watching her. Any other time, and she would've beaten him up, claiming it was creepy and scary, but not now.

Two weeks had passed, and his name hadn't been mentioned between them. Though, she knew - they both did - that all she could think of was Spike. Before, she found herself thinking of him only four or five times a day? She didn't realise how strongly she felt about him until he was gone. Taken from her so suddenly, and before she could talk to him.

She was sick of arguing with him. She wanted a conversation, this was what caused her head to ache. When she was awake, she thought about things she should have said. When she was asleep, she replayed times when she had the opportunity to. Or, reinventing scenarios that could have happened between them. The ones that woke her in a cold sweat were the ones that involved her deepest desires. Ones she would never admit to anyone.

Now he was gone, there was a void in her life. She had always assumed the void was caused by her memory loss of her former life. But, when her memory returned, the void was still there. It wasn't her life she was missing; it was a life she needed as much as her own. The life of another, and coincidentally, that other had been Spike Spiegel.

Her mind knew this void couldn't be filled; her body wanted other things. In her dreams, Spike would appear, a vision of wonder. But before anything could happen, he would be whisked away, gone without a sound.

~

They kept each other company; silently acknowledging each other's presence. It had been four weeks now, and Faye had found her voice, and her ability to move from the sofa to her bed. Her appetite was still minimum, and she would stare into space for hours. When Jet mentioned a bounty-head, she would jump up straight away. Eager to do something? Hopeful of finding something, anything? She didn't know.

Jet was thankful that she had something to preoccupy herself with. He couldn't bring himself to watch her sleep anymore, it hurt him too. Where was his sympathy? Sure, he didn't love Spike like she did, but he missed him all the same. He warned him not to get caught up with women, he warned him it was stupid, that he'd left the syndicate, that there was no need. Spike ignored him, as he had ignored Faye's pleas. The closest she was going to get to an 'I love you' before he died.

They had both been rejected by Spike. Beaten to his heart by a man who Spike couldn't forgive and a woman Spike couldn't forget. His former life before Jet and Faye had existed. Something they could never, would never, understand.

Jet and Faye continued to live their disjointed lives; still looking up in hope at the door when it opened, or savouring the smell of the lingering cigarette smoke just a little bit longer.


End file.
